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Marriage on the rocks? 10 signs you need counselling to save it

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Marriage is often described as a union of two people who love and support each other through thick and thin. But what happens when the thick becomes too thick to handle on your own? It’s not uncommon for even the strongest marriages to face difficulties that can put a strain on the relationship. When things start to feel overwhelming, it may be time to consider seeking professional support through marriage counselling. Let’s explore some of the signs that may indicate you and your partner could benefit from professional support to navigate the complexities of your relationship and strengthen your bond. (Also read: Couple therapy is so important: Reasons why every couple should try it together )

“The skills needed to flourish in a marriage don’t always come naturally. From communication skills and empathy to flexibility and negotiation, there’s a lot of growth involved in being part of a couple. But just like any other skill, you can learn and improve. And one way to do that is through marriage counselling. Contrary to popular belief, marriage counselling isn’t just for couples in trouble. Therapy can help you learn the skills to deal with small issues well before they wear away in your relationship. You don’t have to wait for a sign to seek counselling; your relationship will always benefit from learning new ways to work together as a couple,” says, Clinton Power, relationship counsellor and marriage therapist in his recent Instagram post. He further shared ten signs that may indicate you and your partner could benefit from marriage therapy.

1. Communication problems

Communicating well is a skill we continue to learn over our lives, and marriage is great at highlighting areas that need work.

2. You feel unsupported or alone

Relationships can become one-sided in many areas and leave you feeling unsupported. You might be juggling finances on your own or feel there’s a chronic lack of quality time. You can also feel alone when your emotional needs are not being met.

3. Lack of mutual respect and healthy boundaries

Small daily frustrations can wear you down and take their toll on your relationship. If you’ve started to lose respect for your spouse, you may find yourself nit-picking, talking down to, or mocking them.

4. You constantly feel criticised

A negative tone can easily sneak into marriage. You get used to each other after years together, and the small niggles early in your relationship become big irritants.

5. Hard to find common ground and solutions to problems

Constant arguing and bickering, trying to convince the other person of your viewpoint, needs, and values, is exhausting and often leads to dead ends.

6. You feel unappreciated or undervalued

No one likes to feel like the only person pulling their weight, especially if all your hard work isn’t appreciated. If you’ve started feeling less like a team in your relationship, marriage counselling can help you find gratitude for each other and a better balance.

7. You feel like roommates rather than lovers

Couples in a long-term relationship may wonder if the romance and loving feelings they once felt for each other are gone for good. With work and family commitments, you can start to live separate lives and struggle to find time to be romantic partners.

8. Difficulty dealing with stress as a team

A recent study found that newly married couples noticed each other’s flaws and inconsiderate behaviours more when their lives outside of the marriage felt stressful.

9. Difficulty forgiving past mistakes or trust issues

Trust is one of the basic traits of healthy relationships. If there has been infidelity or broken trust in the past with your spouse, it can feel impossible to move past.

10. Mismatched intimacy and affection needs

Sex and physical intimacy are a major part of any marriage, but couples don’t always match their expectations or need around intimacy. Sometimes the mismatch is in the way you express love in your relationship.

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